Hi there!
This is your baggage handler speaking from outside your plane window.
Thank you for flying with Godspeed Airlines. We appreciate your business.
Do you ever wonder what happens when you check your bag for your flight?
As a baggage handler, I've seen the oddest of oddities on the ramp, and I would like to use this post to advise travelers like yourself on how we handle luggage at Godspeed Airlines.
Please! Don’t Tap the Glass
Here at Godspeed Airlines, we like to train our baggage handlers on the "fishbowl" concept. This means that whenever the crews are serving an aircraft, they assume anyone could be watching them from inside the terminal. With this concept in mind, baggage handlers are mindful of how to handle your luggage.
At least, that's what you would assume, right?
Well, as your baggage handler, I am going to let you in on a little secret...
Most handlers don't care. Shocking, isn't it?
This is the opposite of what is drilled into new hires during on-boarding. We are taught to gently place the bag on the loader and not to throw bags. It's not to say they will intentionally damage your bag, but they won't treat it as if it's the most precious thing in the world. I mean... it's a bag.
Now, knowing this information, please understand that your luggage is still in good hands. We take pride in our baggage handlers' efforts to ensure your bag gets to your destination, even if it gets beaten up.
And speaking of your bag getting beaten up...
We need somewhere to sit…and your bag is perfect..
As you settle into your seat and look forward to reaching your destination, down below in the cargo bins, the baggage handlers are scrunched into small spaces.
Now, this may vary depending on the type of aircraft you are on. A narrow-body has one aisle split between rows of seats, while a wide-body typically has two aisles.
On narrow bodies, the cargo bins are smaller, and typically we have to load the bags while on our knees. As you can imagine, this can be extremely uncomfortable. Until, of course, a nice, comfy-looking suitcase rolls off the loader for me to place my butt on.
You may take offense to this news, or you may agree with it. Just know that you can make a direct impact on the treatment of your baggage by following or not following the following checklist:
Ideal:
Sturdy, hard-shell suitcase
Preferably the size of a grown man's ass or larger
Not Ideal:
Duffel bag
Soft-shell suitcase (too much give when you put weight on it)
Irregular-shaped items (golf clubs, bags filled with irregular shapes)
Bags full of meats and cheese (common on international flights, not the best smelling)
I advise you to follow the "Not Ideal" checklist to avoid any sitting on your luggage.
And for those who have struggling luggage...
Stop Taking that Bag!
I am talking to you, with a bag strap held by three threads, and you, who thought it was a good idea to check a bag with a busted zipper.
The inconveniences of a suitcase popping open while moving it can be traumatic, or humorous, sometimes even both.
Here is a sample of items I've seen come out of luggage, which I imagine to be private:
Sex toys
Thongs, like a bag filled with only thongs... where are you going with all those thongs?
A block of cheese
A few more blocks of cheese
Medication
At Godspeed Airlines, we are here to serve and get you to your destination safely. However, for our operation to run smoothly, we rely on our passengers' ability to use appropriate luggage... or not. The choice is yours.
The End..
I hope you enjoy your destination, and once again, thank you for flying with Godspeed Airlines. We appreciate your business and continued support. Please take the aforementioned information and travel knowing that your bag is in good hands with us.
Speaking of support!
From Chris Weaver..The Author
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